Today i flunked my amaths paper two. but it's okay, ms pow said so herself. :Dand only f&n left, so i can relax for a bit and as if i havent been. im too kind on myself, i should really study more if i want to score for Olevels. It's not too late pansy.
Anyways, i just wanted to write something. Don't worry, it's about him. well not all about him. It's just something to do with him and mainly about how the guys i've met lately have made me realise something.
On my task daily to forget about him, i try to replace him with anyone. This keeps me from talking about him apart from teh ocassional slips during conversations like "oh he always did this to me" or "i wish he was here" or "this reminds me of him" or "i wonder what he's doing" adn stuff liek that. But what i should really be thinking is that, is he here pansy? no he's not, get over it. He's never coming back. don't be such a loser pansy, really.
Some people ask me why i never get a boyfriend. Some even ask me if im even normal nto to have a single bf until this age. come on, 16 is like nothing, and there are no age stuff for relationship matters. I'll get a boyfriend when i meet someone who makes me feel different. So far i've only met one guy worthy to go out with and he's no where to be found so that's that. And others who are trying to get me, don't have the willingness to really get to know me, so i don't see a boyfriend for me comign very soon. Guys i like, well that's another story, they'll not be my boyfrd unless i ask them out so yeah no. I'm not in a hurry to get one. what's so special anyways, one person have this much problems, plus another one? No thanks yet.
But seriously sometimes, I also haev a heart that desires someone goofy and true.
Someone who might be mean to me but cares about me.
Someone who don't just leave me wandering around lost.
Someone who sees through all my smiles and laughs each days.
Someone who don't agree on everything with me but who is willing to tell me what's right if my wrong.
Someone who i can talk to about anything.
Someone who's willing to accept my flaws and love me for who i am.
Someone who may be ugly and knows that i can accept it.
Sometimes, i just really need someone to rely on..
I'm the type who'll just let everyone win just coz i don't want misunderstandings and unhappiness. I'm the always happy go lucky type that people fidn it hard to see me sad and depressed. And i personally don't like that so I don't stay that way. This one person who left me, was the only person so far who said it was okay for me to cry as well. And so im gonna stop talking about him coz he's stupid and he left me.
I don't really require so much, i think what i mentioned above is the basic that all girls will tend to want. We girls just need someone who cares and know that we're fragile and soemtimes, no matter how strong we look, we are girls afterall.
I am goign to stop writing before i start bullshitting all over.
till then,
pansy(:
jotted down by pikaidiota- on 1:08 AM