The other world;

Sunday, July 26, 2009

damn prelims.
i miss you, i can't help it.

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 6:59 AM

Friday, July 17, 2009

I just realised something today. Last time i went to bangkok, i bought a band tee unknowingly. Then again i bought that shirt above at topshop like last year. What I did not know was the story behind them.

Both shirts that i own featured the bassist Sid Vicious from the Sex pistols. I knew they were a band but this shirt im wearing has a quite tragic story behind it. Basically, sex pistols are one of the most influeacial punk rock bands that ever lived. They like practically started teh whole thing in the 70s. Anyways, that's not what i want to say here, if you want to know more, google it.

I want to talk about Sid Vicious and his girlfriend Nancy. I forgot the girl's last name. Sid was a fan of sex pistols at first, then later when the bassist of the band left, he joined. He wasn't the greatest bassist but I'm kind of interested in him. In his story that is. I just started reading about him today so here is what i found out.

Sid was part of the band for like 3 years adn they disbanded. He had some solo acts and blah blah. but his life quote or something was *live fast, die young*. That all came to reality when his met is girlfriend, Nancy. Nancy was an American groupie. They immediately got into a relationship and were inseperable. Like any other punk rock couple, their relationship had some of those wierd things i don't wnat ot mention. Nancy was a herion addict. She was teh whole reason for Sid's downturn in my opinion. Sid later became a herion addict as well. Sometime in 1978, Nancy passed away in a hotel bathroom. Sid was accused of the death as he was there and the abdomen was stabbed as well. Come on, they were high, I don't think he did it on purpose. He loved ehr so damn much. Anyways, he was sentenced to jail and like a day after he was released, he was actually sober but hsi mother just had to give him herion cause she wanted to celebrate his return. And there went Sid vicious, on 1st feburary 1979. I'm in deep sorrow to have only found out about you now and in very much pain to knwo you left so early at the aeg of 21. Well, that was yoru life, and i admire your love for nancy.

In one of the interviews he gave right after court, he said one of the most heart melting thing :

Reporter: Are you having fun? (WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT TO ASK A GUY WHO'S GIRLFRD JUST PASSED AWAY AND IS ACCUSED OF IT WHEN HE FKING LOVED HER)

Sid: Are you kidding me? No, im not having fun at all.

Reporter: Where would rather be now?

Sid: underground.

Reporter: Are you serious?

Sid: yeah...

I don't know about you but i find it heartwarming and sad at the same time because, he loved nancy so much, although she was ugly,bad influenced adn ruined his whole relationship with his band. I salute you. Love is indeed blind.

I'll blog about him more later, when i find out more interesting things to say. There's a movie abotu them, called SID AND NANCY. I wnat to watch.

till then,
pansy(:

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 11:14 AM

Monday, July 13, 2009

With school, family and other things that matter more, I don't even have much time on you. When i make up my mind, I will do it. And now is the time, no more buts and what ifs. Just moving on.

Anyways, some people find it hard when i became all sad here, lol. I can't believe myself either, believe when you see me outside, im such a clown, never serious.

Dunno what to write, just bored
till then,
pansy(:

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 6:10 AM

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

This post is entirely from the bottom of my heart and the soul within.

I'm not saying this is going to be the last ever post about you, there might be more if I can't hold it in but this is where I wnat to say for the gazillionth time, goodbye.

I've realised some stuff lately. I still miss you and feel very much same about you. nothing has changed, it's just that i realised, what the hell am i doing here? Waiting for you or am I being mad because you left me? Or am i just simply wasting time? I'm not sure.

For whatever reason you left me, you left me. As simple as that, If you really wanted to be with me, nothing would have stopped you. This is not because I don't understand. I do, I know you have problems, but there's no way a person would leave someone else in such a harsh way. You could have at least talked to me dude. Seriously to save me from all these misery where I am finding happiness in. Or I try to. It's already enough that I'm away from my family, I don't need you to make me feel more lonely.

The truth is, I miss you and I want to be with you. But the reality is, you're not here. Screw all the destiny and fate. Screw hope. It has never made helped me anyways. I'm not giving up on hope, no, I'm just going to stop relying on it.

Let's say,If we were to meet again, we will and i'll leaev it at that. I'm not going to purposely forget you, i will one day, when i meet someone who maeks me feel different again. i'm sure there are a lot of people out there, I just havent meet them.

You're the guy every song reminds me of but i still listen to them.

You're the guy I think of before I sleep.

You're the guy I think of when I see old people, young people, or let's just say eveyrthing.

You're the guy I always want to see and the one that i miss but what can i do? You left me.

I promise myself I'm going to move on adn that one day when you decide to come back, it's already too late. It's always too late. You're on your own and I am as well.

You left me and it's not worth the misery no more. And for whatever reason you will give one day, it's not worth it. How could you dude. My heart's not breaking, i've learnt not to fake heart breaks long ago. I fking miss you and i'm going to move on. Don't decide to love me when I have.

Till then,

pansy(:

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 7:50 AM

Saturday, July 4, 2009

I shouldn't miss you anymore.

I don't want to be dramatic anymore.

I just want to be with you like a fat girl wants her chocolate cupcake.

I want to see you like a 13 year old want to meet a 13 year old skater boy.

It's been two years, going on three.

till then,

pansy(:

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 9:33 AM

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

This is not how I planned it to be,

I can't breathe even when my chest is moving up and down,

I can't feel my heart beating even when I know it is.

I don't know if I'm just used to the pain since it's been so long,

There's really no one to blame,

but this is not how it's supposed to be.

You leave my mind every now and then,

but you're usually always there.

And it's when every single thing reminds me of you,

and im supposed to hate it but i enjoy it.

It's when i keep seeing you everywhere i look,

and supposed to feel sad but i smile stupidly.

It's when i turn back to find someoneelse,

when i thought it'd be you and I giggle to myself.

It's when I dream of you even when I'm awake,

and I'm supposed ot sleep but i choose not to.

It's when i find happiness in this sadness,

and it's when i know you left me for me,

and i can't deny the fact that i,

".."

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 2:09 AM