jotted down by pikaidiota- on 10:47 AM

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 10:34 AM

Things post is entirely dedicated to my one and only you.

It's been thirty six days since i last talked to you. And tomorrow, hopefully i'll see your face. IF my calculations were correct, i hope they are. Even if they were, how the hell am i going to *accidentally* bump into you? who am i kidding?

Anyways, I missed you today and came up with some quotes of my own. Deep from my soul and straight from the corner of my heart that longs for you.(:

"Sing me a song and i'll sing it back to you. I could sing it on my own, but what would it be without you?"

"And i'll combine all the lyrics of each song, that made me think of you. And i'll sing i to you, my one and only you in my always-a-dream, dream."

"I think i love you or maybe it's teenage hormones. A lot of them"

"The first time i saw you,
you were just another boy,
Then i got to know you,
you seemed quite cool.
Then i saw you again,
for the second time.
and somethings have changed.
You looked amazing
and my heart chased.
What if i told you how i felt,
Would you feel the same?
But let me tell you this,
you make me splatter out stupid things,
and i don't even mind. Stupid me."

"I've got a mind-clotting,butterflies fluttering, mind numbing, heart chasing,over the moon,snow white and the prince,white stripes, crush on you."

"Sometimes, i wish i was pretty. Just to get your attention"

that's all for now. I have missed you so so much. And if you cared to read my blog, i have no doubt why you would not figure out how i feel about you. If you did not by then, oh boy, you are worse than me. But i still love you don't worry. :D


I wished to see you at the airport tomorrow at 11:11pm. :D


love you to bits,
me.


jotted down by pikaidiota- on 8:14 AM

So yesterday, before i went la la la over leprechauns, I watched the other Boleyn girl. It was a great show and i enjoyed it a lot.

After watching it, i went to search more about it. That was how hooked i was to it. So after some research, i found out it was a true story. Even though in the movie, there were some things done to make it all interesting. But still it's pretty much a true story. And yes after that movie i wanted to learn more about it.

So here's some info about king Henry and the Boleyn girls. After reading some history about it on the net and watching the movie, im going to put it in my own words.(:

The two girls were Anne Boleyn and Mary Boleyn. It all started when Mary got married. On the very same day, King Henry VIII's first wife, Catherine, had a miscarriage. She had a lot of miscarriages and she was unable to give birth to a boy, a successor. The King was frustrated and the uncle(i dont care what his name is) of the Boleyn girls thought of a foolish idea in my opinion.

He told the Boleyns that in these times, the king would need some pleasure. Yes, pleasure. :S
So then, he invited the Boleyns to a ball. Then the king came and told Mary to come to his room that night. And you know what follows.

Mary was married already but as it was the King, she could not deny. After some months, she gave birth to a baby boy. But by then, the King wanted Anne, already. But Anne refused to give herself to him as she did not want to become a mistress like her sister. Why? because a mistress is known as a whore and the baby boy would be known as the bastard.

After a while when Anne saw that the king was desperate to have her, she demanded taht she will only give herself to him if she became the Queen. How pathetic and selfish of her. Mary on the other hand was sent away. I pity her. This is where things get excitting.

The king had to annul the marrige with Catherine but it was not easy. I don't really get it why so im not going to spend my time on it. So yeah let's say they got divorced and it was when England seperated with the Roman Catholic Church. I don't want to go into detail on this.

So when Anne became the Queen, she was quickly pregnant and gave birth to a baby girl, Elizabeth I. By then the king was already fed up with her because of her continuous nagging and blah blah. Still, she got pregnant with another child. LOL.

This time it was a miscarrige. In fear of tellign the king about it. She decided to get pregnant with another man and act as if it was the king's baby. So she chose her own brother, George Boleyn, to do the honours. Somehow the king found out about it and Anne was beheaded at last. The brother was beheaded aswell. But what others did not know except Anne,Mary and George was that they never did it. They could not. Thank god.

After that Mary remarried to a soldier i think adn went to live in the country side. King Henry VIII remarried 4 more times. Guys.

After The king's death, Elizabeth I, Anne's daughter, became the queen. (:

I left out so mnay points but this is an over veiw of it. I'm gonna learn more about it. Im a official history freak now. And im proud to say it :D

So anyways, i just watched teh F1 RACE. and I AM IN LOVE WITH LEWIS HAMILTON. He's like the only hottest racer ever. :D

He is definitely added to my potential boyfriend list :D

im gonna watch probably another history movie about england now. Call me a nerd, a freak, i don't mind :D

till then,
pansy(:
jotted down by pikaidiota- on 8:30 AM

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 8:44 AM

I think i screwed up physics as expected. But still i want to pass so badly. :(
Anyyywayyys, i found many many icons of edward cullen. :D
Yay yay.
"I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself, so, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then."


"I can't sleep at night because I feel that there is so much to do and fix and change in the world, and I wonder every day if I am making a difference and if I will ever express the greatness within me, or if I will remain forever paralyzed by muddled madness inside my head. I've wept on every birthday I've ever had because life is huge and fleeting and I hate certain people and certain shoes and I feel that life is terribly unfair and sometimes beautiful and wonderful and extraordinary but also numbing and horrifying and insurmountable and I hate myself a lot of the time. The rest of the time I adore myself and I adore my life in this city and in this world we live in. This huge and wondrous, bewildering, brilliant, horrible world."

AND i want to nap, so bye bye :D



jotted down by pikaidiota- on 3:38 AM

Physics tomorrow, huuuuuuuuu~
Please, let me pass. Please please please :D

Anyways, i just listened to a song that kind of relate to what i want to say to him. So yeah my favourite parts of the song are below. Enjoy.(:
Next to you - Jordin Sparks Two 'o clock and I wish that I was sleeping
You're in my head like a song on the radio
All I know is that I got to get next to you
Yeah I got to get next to you
Sitting here turning minutes into hours
To find the nerve just to call you on the telephone
You don't know that I got to get next to you

Maybe were friends
Maybe were more
Maybe it's just my imagination
But I see you stare just a little too long
And it makes me start to wonder
So baby call me crazy
But I think you feel it too
Maybe I, Maybe I Just got to get next to you
What a fool, I got to get next to you, whoa
Yeah it's five in the morning and I can't go to sleep
'Cause I wish, yeah I wish that you knew what you mean to me
Baby let's get together and end this mystery, oh

I miss you and I cant wait to see you.
Gue says i have so much teenage hormone. She says that's why i'm going through all this. Whatever it is, i like you and that's all it matters. Sometimes i get tired of being obsessed with someone. It's so tiring.
But again, i cant stop either.
Not now, not if my obsession is with you.(:

till then,
pansy(:





jotted down by pikaidiota- on 7:30 AM

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 10:58 PM

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 9:52 PM

I don't really feel like blogging now. But i do have things to say so maybe later.(:
Anyways, Just wanted to make this another quotes post.(:

"i believe in karma. What you give is what you
get returned. I believe you can't appreciate real
love until you've been burned. I believe the grass
is greener on the other side. I believe you don't
know what you've got until you have to say goodbye."

"Fall in love or fall in hate. Get inspired or be depressed. Ace a test of flunk a class. Make babies or make art. Speak the truth or lie and cheat. Dance on tables or sit in the corner. Life is devine chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. And enjoy the ride..."

"My palms were sweaty, and my heart
grew big. My leg, my leg was shaking. How
badly I wanted you with me. You came to
me and said "This could be something."
I'll take something over nothing anyday."

" There's one thing a quote does that nothing and no-one else can do; it can become a part of you. You may never meet the person who said it, but that person is now a companion. Quotes help you get over pain. Feel loved. Make you smile & laugh and help you through
those tough days when you think no-one else knows what you're going through"


"I know that each and every one of you have felt, at one point, like you can't go on. But then you found hope. There's always some way to find hope. Just remember that."

"Dreams are always crushing when they don't come true.
But it's the simple dreams that are often the most painful
because they seem so personal, so reasonable, and so attainable.
You're always close enough to touch, but never close enough
to hold. & it's enough to break your heart. "

"It's when I'm standing six feet away from you,
and not being able to find the words to tell you
how much I love you and how much I miss you,
that I just want to scream to the whole room
that I'm in love with you."

jotted down by pikaidiota- on 2:14 AM

I found out something quite strange today. It may not seem strange to others but it is to me.
I was sitting in SS class today, bored as usual since the Mr.Ugly Chen kept on going and going about i don't know what. So i stared at the sear Mr.Hot Chen used to sit. And as i was looking, my eyes went to the table and WAMMM! i saw the twilight book!!!!! MR.UGLY CHEN READS TWILIGHT!.

Okay, It sounds so normal for a person to read. But out of all the books, why that book? And out of all the people, why does he read it? And at this time, when i have a big obsession for it, he reads it. And lastly, just when i was not happy with him replacing my favourite teacher, he had to read my favourite book. Hmmph, :S

Anyways, this is a *i find it quite funny* SMS between me and Gue during SS class :

Me: Mr.ugly chen reads twilight! omg
Gue: lol, Ugly Chen's interest isn't that far from your's after all. :) Who knows, he might even collect twilight icons.
Me: lol, we can totally be twilight buddies.
Gue: And you both go watch twilight in December adn let it be your first date. :P
Me: Oouch! i would rather die! Such a boring person, even if he looked like edward cullen I would not go out with him.
Gue: How about if he looked like *the soccer boy*? :)
Me: He maybe what i need, but *the soccer boy* is who i want. No one is like my soccer boy, no one can replace him. :)

AND AND a little comment by Erni : Erm...so..if he looks like soccer boy but acts like Mr.Danny and speaks like C ( the guy you need to marry..hehe) HE would be a perfect person for you honey :P

But Erni, seriously, i would choose my soccer boy over anybody. Trust Me. :D

Dear you,
Notice me please, i'm starting to get the love disease.(:
love,
me.

SO anyways, gonna sleep.
Till then,
pansy(:
jotted down by pikaidiota- on 7:35 AM

Had a very tiring day so i don't feel like writing.
Just wanted to save my quotes again.(:


So here goes the quotes. (:

"It's easy to be cynical. Especially today, when it looks like all our heroes are crooks, our role models frauds. Every now and again, however, when you least expect it, the real thing comes along: someone who can find the heart inside the cynic and give those who hold nothing sacred something to believe in. It's not always easy telling the good from the bad, even if you do get tomorrow's paper today. Why, is why. Sometimes, to find the answers, you have to look in your heart."

"Fear isn't so difficult to understand. After all, weren't we all frightened as children? Nothing has changed since Little Red Riding Hood faced the big bad wolf. What frightens us today is exactly the same sort of thing that frightened us yesterday. It's just a different wolf. This fright complex is rooted in every individual."

"I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult, You know, that that's to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens."

"All I'd ever wanted was to forget. But even when I thought I had, pieces had kept emerging. Like bits of wood floating up to the surface that only hint at the shipwreck below. A pink shirt, a rhyme with my name. The feeling of hands on my neck. Because that's what happens when you try to run from the past. It doesn't catch up, it overtakes. Blotting out the future, the landscape, even the very sky, until there's no path left except that which leads through it. The only path that can ever get you home."

"The past is our definition. We may strive,
with good reason, to escape it, or to escape
what is bad in it, but we will escape it only
by adding something better to it."
-Wendell Berry

"When I say "romantic," I mean a sensibility that sees everything, and has to express everything, and still doesn't know what the fuck it is, it hurts that bad. It just madly tries to speak whatever it feels, and that can mean vast things. That sort of mentality can turn a sun-kissed orange into a flaming meteorite, and make it sound like that in a song. "

okay that is all.(:

till then,
pansy.(:
jotted down by pikaidiota- on 4:00 AM

I know i just wrote a veryyy long post but i forgot something. My favourite teacher's name was Mr.Chen. So when he left, another teacher came. another Mr.Chen. Huuuuuu~
He is so very different and made me sleep. But at points while he was babbling, somethings annoyed me. And i don't wnat to mention. All i did the whole lesson was look at Erni to make weird faces and look at the empty seat where he was sitting just yesterday. Sigh, i am attracted to blur blur gay kind of people.(:

Read this and you know how bored Erni was :
Dedicated to pansy(:


Yes veryy annoyed and i corrected him when he said the name wrongly.
Urrghh, okay im gonna sleep.
Pansy.(:
jotted down by pikaidiota- on 7:18 AM

Hello People :D

I need to blog about something or I will not be happy. lol
I have so much fate you know. With people i meet and everything.

It all started 2 weeks ago when my SS teacher went for maternity leave. There was a replacement teacher and he was weird, at first impression. But when i thought about it, SS class was not out first meeting. It was during the Amaths CA paper a week before that. :D
Okay, this was our first meeting.

ME:teacher, do you have foolscap for us?
Him: Umm, you guys need? They never gave me.
ME:yeah, we need. *smiles*
Him: Err...*Don't know what to say*
ME:nevermind, we can get our own.
Him: Umm, who's the monitor? *looking at me*
ME: umm, me? *akward*
Him:you watch the class i go get the papers.
(ran outside)
ME: NO no, we can get our own one. can we start now?
Him: oh really? you got it? okay then, start.

Not a very good impression. Blur Blur person.

The second time was during my first SS lesson with him. How do i describe the first moment i saw him sitting in that room. Hmmph, okay how about...him again? oh god. yes, that was exactly it. Fivly knows it all since she sits right beside me. Oh guess what, my seat is right beside him.(:

So anyways, that day he just asked me to pass around worksheets for us to do so i did. and guess what he just sat there and did nothing. No no, he did shake is leg, like a lot. And so we did our worksheets and suddenly, in our conversation;

Fivly: Pansy, ask him when we are going get back out test papers.
ME: NO i don't want to talk to him, you know what happen during the Amaths papers.
Fivly:LOL, okay then. but please? :D
Me: NO,
then we just continued talking and at one point, i turned my head towards him and started to say:
ME: teacher, when are we getting back out test papers? *fivly laughing in the background*
Him:maybe next lesson.
ME: but it's tomorrow.
Him:Oh is it? okay.
i stopped lookng at him then, but he still continued to talk.
Him:I think i marked them alrdy, 302 Right?
ME:yeah.
Him: yeah yeah i marked it,
ME:okay, good.
Him: about 9 failed. and the highest was 21.
ME: umm okay, in my mind *can you run down to get the paper and show us alrdy?*

Then, i started to see some similarity between my soccer boy and him. The way their eyes move and he hand gestures and all that. I kept looking at him for that reason and i told fivly about how funny he looked. We kept laughing at his forever moving legs. NOw, here is another akward moment, we had the same position of sitting and putting our head on our hand at that moment.
Fivly: LOl, pansy he's looking at you.
Me: *weird smile*
I looked at him through my hands and then i realised that look my soccer boy gave me the first time we met. So not helping me. :S

By then, i was kind of attracted to him, because of all those akward moments.
The next day, i was so excited to go to class. Trust me :D
That day, my goal was to ask his name. LOL, and i did. :D
Again, he asked me to distribute the papers so as i did, Erni asked evryone to stand up to greet him and i quickly ran back to him and asked *teacher, what's your name?* he replied laughing *you can call me Mr.chen*, blehhh grandfather name.
That day, we talked more and he's so nice to talk with until Paulus stopped our conversation. Thank you so much. :S
Oh yeah, we got back our papers, Got a 20 so yayyy :D
He came to our table and leaned towards my desk in a very rough manner, me and fivly could nout resist from laughing. Do you know how lame he was? He was reading the last paragraph of question 2 reffereing to the first paragraph of question 1. -___- I didnt say anything and just listened, :)

After that, one week break, and by then, he was known as my favourite teacher and i could not wait for another class with him.(:
I was so excited the whole week that somehow the whole class knew that he was my favourite teacher. Lol, who cares lah.(;
So on tuesday morning i was so excited to go to school and i was all so cheery :D
When i came out of my first class, i saw him and he nodded and smiled at me. Guess what, Erni started laughing very loudly. So get the english? :S
Then, went to his class and found out he found a job already. -_______-
i was the saddest person trust me. You could totally see that in my face, maybe he did too. But that day we all talked with him a lot. Which was nice. Adn finally found out his real name. The wierd part was his name was the same as the character in the movie i watched the night before.
Okay, here is a funny conversation between us.

Me:Seriously, i dont like that school.
HIM:why?
Me: umm, nerdy students, nerdy teachers and a scary building. SO the bottom line is i don't like it.
HIm: But seriously, good men are there. You should marry someone from there when you grow up.
*akward moment* and i wanted to say "oh can i marry you then?" but i didnt. lol

There were more, but i'd rather keep it to myself. Guess what, he uses my soccer boy's phone.(:
So i loved our farewell conversation and hoped that i will see him again. Which i doubt it. BUt anyways, more similar things coming.
Once i got home that day, i quickly frdster him.(i am such a stalker)
So i saw that he was also a Leo and likes movies that my soccer boy likes.(:
He kind of made my time pass while missing somebody. SO i guess a thank you for helping me be happy for a while? :)

So this is for you my-once-SS-teacher-who-don't-being-called-one,
All the best at your work and I would love to see you again. :D
I am such a freak.

So yeah that's all,
phewwww,
pansy(:
jotted down by pikaidiota- on 6:14 AM

I've had many crushes and some of them were better looking than the guy i'm obsessed with now. But somehow i've never ever missed anyone of them as much as i miss him now. Just to think about it, i don't even see him that much or talk to him. But still,those little moments i shared with him has been the most amazing ones yet.(:

I don't think i'm in love just yet but i sure like him a lot.

Dear you,
Maybe you know or maybe you don't. But even if you do, please don't ignore me.(:
I miss seeing your *haha :D*. I hope you are enjoying yourself.
love,
me.

Now, some more quotes i just wanted to save here.(:


I don't want a broken heart
`cause I'll lose the pieces.
-lil wayne


I`m always a mess. I can never keep my own secrets. I laugh too hard at stupid things. My favorite songs can make me cry. I always watch for 11:11, but i miss it more than i notice it. I live in the past, in the memories i have with the people i love. I hate thinking about reality & i`m so homesick that it`s not even funny. But not homesick in a missing my house kind of way..maybe it`s more like heartsick for all the things that i can`t get back. It`s hard for me to define myself..I guess i`m just a cliche--the girl who loved too hard & didn`t get anything in return. i don`t want to be the heroine in some tragic love story, i just want the one person who has never given me a second thought.


I never asked for it to be over.
Then again, I never asked for it to
begin. That's the way it is with life,
some of the most beautiful days come
completely by chance. But even the most
beautiful days have their sunsets.


i've only grown stronger because that's what every
step gave me. my life may becomplicated,
but complication is what made me.


We live the life of an unfinished novel, still waiting to be written. Depending on how long we live, the longer the chapters. Depending on how interesting we are, the more we appeal to others. We're often judged by our covers. Sometimes, some people decide to just quit reading us. We're just forgotten until someone finds us. Our characters can develop throughout the novel, but our chapters can never be edited.

You deserve the right kind of love, the kind of love that makes you happy, the fantastic love that's in books and movies. Even if you aren't together forever, you'll want to look back and never regret falling in love with him. That's the kind of love we all deserve.

okay that's all, i'm getting sleepy,
till then;
pansy(:




jotted down by pikaidiota- on 5:58 AM

School's opening back tomorrow. huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~
And in 3 weeks time, finals are here! I need to do well for physics this time round. I hate you and love you at the same time. :S

Anyways, i don't have much to write, mom and my sister went out today but i stayed home to study. So i should do that i guess. lol

And yeah i think he saw his picture on my display picture the other day. -_______-
But who cares if he saw it, it's better that he knows anyways. (:

Alritey, i'm gonna go eat first then study. :D

Dear you,
I miss you so very much. Did you see it? Or somebody stepped on your glasses at that time? I hope so. Take care
Love,
me.

till then,
pansy(:
jotted down by pikaidiota- on 9:17 PM

Oh shit, Oh shit Oh shit :S

I think he saw his picture on my display picture. -___________-
jotted down by pikaidiota- on 4:12 AM

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuu~~

I had a very very tiring day. First woke up late to get to my basketball camp. When i got to the meeting point, my teacher wasn't there to lead us to the place. So we walked around for half an hour finding that place. Got there and oh boy, the training was so very tiring.

I was sick yesterday but for my love for basketball i endured it. But now today, i injured my leg and the sickness is still there so all i can do is rest at home for tomorrow. Unwillingly.

Most of the time, i'm drowned in my book. *Twilight* yes i'm finally reading it. AND i love love it. :D

Anyways, mom coming tomorrow. WOO HOO :D

Something quite strange happened today. I dreamt about the not to mention person. Gue, when i woke up, you shud have seen my face. -_________-

Anyways, i have no mood to write but gonna post some quotes so that i can get back to them soon :D

Dear you,
i miss you so much. I nearly felt like crying today, i don't know why. The book i've been reading, sounds so much like you and me. It's just that you're not a vampire. Or are you? haha :D
love,
me.

"Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean."

" When I see you, the world stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The world just stops, and it is a beautiful place, and there is only you. Just you, and my eyes staring at you."

"Just because somebody flirts with you
Doesn't mean they like you.
Just because somebody likes you
Doesn't mean they want to go out with you.
Just because somebody goes out with you
Doesn't mean they love you.
Just because somebody loves you
Doesn't mean they won't hurt you.
Because people lie & things change.
Boyfriends cheat, best friends leave,
& there will always be those people
That would kill to see you fall."

And that is all, i'm gonna continue watching Que Sera Sera since i cant fall asleep yet.

P.S. pansy you should study.

till then,
pansy(:


jotted down by pikaidiota- on 10:20 AM