This is for my one and only soccerboy[=,
I did not fall in love with you, thank god. I never planned to but just saw it coming several times. Now i realise that I was just trying to make myself fall in love with you. I was forcing myself. I really liked you, so I thought you could fill in the void. Wrong answer again. I keep choosing guys to replace him, your precious friend who decided not to talk to me anymore. When I talk, write or even think about you, he kept popping up in my head and it's very annoying. I kept denying it for a long time and kind of used you to fill in his place. It didn't really help since I still think of him, and everything reminds me of him. People say I change very fast . Honestly, I just try to potray that image.And some say that's why I don't have a boyfriend. Seriously, do they really think I'm so desperate for a boyfriend that's why I would go la la for random guys? HECK NO! Everyone can date very easily. But i'm not looking for a boyfriend, thank you.(: It has been him all along, since i've met him. My stupid pride kept denying it and things truned out this way. But I still don't know why he left me. Do you? Anyways, I just wanted to say thanks for giving me a brief taste of happiness but it's just that i'm happier even when i just htink about him no matter how much it's hurting me. I liked you alot but nothing relaly sparks in me when i think of you most of the time. Maybe fake sparks. So this is the extent i can lie to myself. I'm a little bit old fashioned and I want my first boyfriend to be someone special and not some random guy. and right now i want my so called first love to be him. Becuase he's the closest i have to love.(:
Now i won't be awkward with you anymore. :D
Love,
me.
jotted down by pikaidiota- on 1:50 PM